Where to Turn

Today marks the end of my current collection of worship songs. I hope to have more songs to share in future - some old, some new.

And today I return to my two favourite sources of inspiration - the psalms and the prophets.

Psalm 36: "For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light."

The Fountain Of Life. This is the reason I write and present these songs. This is the reason I press on through limiting resources and skill and give what I have to give. It is for God. For with God is the fountain of life. And I desire to live in this ever flowing water. This ever flowing light. Limitlessness. Nothing hidden, nothing held back. Drinking from the river of delights. Worth pressing on for!

Perhaps the prophet Jeremiah pressed on for similar reasons, with the hope that Israel would feast on the abundance of God's house. His ministry became one of lamentation for a people who would not turn to God.

Jeremiah 25:7 - "Yet you did not listen to me, says the Lord, and so you have provoked me to anger with the work of your hands to your own harm."

Turn Now, Jeremiah continued to cry, but the people continued to choose their own way. They chose to follow what they could conceive with their own minds, Gods they could see and make with their own hands, instead of repenting and choosing to go "beyond the mind". (Thank you Dr. Darlene A. Mayo for that translation from the Greek for repent.)

Thanks for joining me on this little journey through song. It was nice to have your company.
Where to turn now?

E.

Mercy and Wonder

Psalm 57:1 - "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, until the destroying storms pass by."

This was the song of my heart early this week as I tried to rise up from the remains of a weekend headache and record some challenging songs - ones hard for me to play, free of stumbling fingers. Be Merciful would have been a nice plea to God, compared to what did come from my mouth. At times like this I could easily doubt the effort and discipline that has gone into the production of this song blog. A task that really began back in 2010 when I first picked up the guitar for a second go at being a professional songwriter. Has there been any benefit? Will there be a reward?

Psalm 119:82 - "My eyes fail with watching for your promise; I ask, “When will you comfort me?"

It's not always easy to see God's hand in the tasks he calls us to. Even less apparent is the good result we hope to come from our efforts. I think of the mothers who pray year after year for their children, and of those who are faithful in seeking the "promised land", yet continue in poverty.

There is good news. Everything will be all right. Stayed tuned to hear the happy ending to this mournful song. 

I have returned again and again to my imagination for a glimpse of those hoped for outcomes - a vision of prosperity, a joyous celebration, a thought of love. Sometimes God will meet me there with a vision of his own. I love those moments and that place where creation begins. A place to dream and contemplate Wonder.

God imagined... God created... and new life began.

E.

Heavens Chorus

The leaves are making their first appearance here in NS. Spring has sprung. It's a good day.

It will be a wonderful day when we hear the heavens praising God. If the sound is anything like the beauty of the night sky or the morning sunrise, or the first signs of spring, we are in for a treat. It will certainly be a taste of his glory.

Psalm 89:6 - "For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord?"

Let The Heavens Praise. And when the heavens begin to praise, we will join with them in song. It will be a great chorus.

Psalm 68:32 - "Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth; sing praises to the Lord".

There are some who have heard this chorus - angels joining with them in worship. There was one time in worship during a Gathering of the Watchmen For The Nations in Gander, NL, that I had a sense of being surrounded by a choir of angels. I've yet to hear them with physical ears, but I'm always open to that. It will surely be a sweet moment when I do. In Gander, I remember slipping off my shoes because it felt like I was standing on holy ground.

Psalm 68:33 - "O rider in the heavens, the Ancient Heavens; listen, he sends out his voice, his mighty voice."

Listen.

E.

In God's Sight

I Peter 3:4 - "... the Unfading Beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit... is of great worth in God's sight."

This was the quote of the day on the October 17th calendar page from 2007, shown here with a matching leaf I had picked up that same fall.

On the evening of the 16th, we had a missionary, Alan Baker, visit our home group. He had prayed for many of us and in his prayer for me, he had blessed my "gentle spirit", saying it would be effective in ministry. My friend Lisa, discovering this bible verse on her calendar the following day, passed it along to me. It came as an encouragement and confirmation of the missionary's prayer.

Hebrews 13:20-21 - "Now may the God of peace... make you complete in everything good so that you may do his will, working among us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen".

This prayer was written on the journal page from where the leaf and calendar page had been safely tucked away. It seems to fit with this blog post, focusing in on God's sight.

I depend on God's sight. My own sight is limited. I have very narrow vision. Near sightedness. And I don't always see beauty in my own gentle spirit. It can often feel more like weakness and over-sensitivity to everything around me.

Psalm 16:11 - "You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

I need God to show me life through his eyes! Evermore.

E.

Wait and Rest

Wait. Rest. Two words that appear over and over in the bible. And two actions that are required over and over in life. They must be important. Impatience, though, has a way of superseding everything in its path. We're in a hurry to get wherever it is we think we're going.

Psalm 130:5 - "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope".

Waiting can be agonizing. For me it's been hard to know when God means for me to stop - stop and wait - and when he means for me to be patient and wait - hold on a little longer. Some will say it's more the latter, but in my experience it's been to stop. Stop what I'm doing and wait for the next step. Stop working. Stop being busy. Wait. Take some time to tune into God. Be still. Be quiet. So... My Soul Waits.

Resting is a little easier to understand, but I would say, just as hard to do. I have spent too much time being restless - believing there was more I needed to be doing or more that I needed to be. Unsettled and unsatisfied with myself and my circumstances. I can see the importance of rest. All around me, the world speeds by. People hardly stop to notice their bodies and souls crying out for rest. Simple physical rest.

Psalm 42:8 - "By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life."

I believe God's song is always, Rest Now My Beloved.

Resting now.

E.

Taizé Worship

The Taizé style of worship is quiet, reflective, and meditative in nature. It takes a simple line of scripture and repeats it over and over. It was first introduced in the Taizé Community, an ecumenical monastic order in Taizé, France. The community was founded by Frère Roger Schutz in 1940. "He pondered what it really meant to live a life according to the scriptures and began a quest for a different expression of the Christian life." - Wikipedia

I didn't set out to write Taizé style songs, but as I was writing the two songs here, I recognized the influence. At St. Thomas' Church in St. John's we would have a regular evening service dedicated to this style of worship, using the songs written by Frère Roger. I also came across a service one Friday evening strolling along a street in Victoria, BC. A nice find. I asked if they did this every Friday evening. They did not. I love God's timing.

Psalm 97:11-12 - "Light dawns for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart. Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous, and give thanks to his holy name!" Light Is Dawning

Psalm 139:18 - "I come to the end - I am still with you." I Come To The End

These lines of scripture are capable of standing alone in songs of worship. I didn't have any inclination to add or subtract from them. Sung over and over, they surely bring one into the presence of God, and into the peace that one finds there.

This is where I want to go in worship.

E.

All About You

If I remember correctly, the first line of the bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren, is, "It's not about you." So I need to tell you that today's post is not about you either. Sorry.

The "you" that it is all about is God.

Psalm 104:1-4 - "O Lord my God, you are very great. You are clothed with honor and majesty... you stretch out the heavens... you set the beams of your chambers on the water... you make the clouds your chariot... you ride on the wings of the wind... you make the winds your messengers".

It's All About You.

Now this next part is for you... and the question comes to you, If You Could Have Anything, what would it be? Would it be me? - Not me, Elizabeth. But me, Jesus. Confused?

What would it take for us to choose Jesus over all else and in every circumstance? The moon and the stars to proclaim his name? The wind whispering our name, beckoning us? The birds singing God's praise? Your heart responding to God's song? I think maybe all these things happen if we're willing to stop and listen, stop and recognize Jesus in all these things.

Turn around and see... me. God.

E.

Walk Uprightly

"I have decided the two choices open to me are (1) to torment myself or (2) to trust the Lord. There is no earthly solution to the problems that confront me. But I can add to my problems, as I believe I have done, by dwelling on them. So, no more of that."

I like the resolution in this quote from the novel, Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson. It really does come down to trusting in God. "It" being the Christian walk, or in simpler terms, life.

Psalm 84:11 - "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; he bestows favor and honor. No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who Walk Uprightly."

How exactly does one walk uprightly? To me, it speaks of integrity - finding the honest and true within yourself, and walking in it. Truthfully though, it's not about me at all. It's about trusting in God and in who he is. Walking in him.

I Am The Lord, he declares, "who brought you up from the land of Egypt". Up from those places or circumstances in our lives that have enslaved us - addictions, habits, sins, mindsets, past hurts. Up from our worship and influence of "strange gods". Things that will never satisfy.

God tells us to open our mouths and he will fill them. Have you ever tried to see how wide you can open your mouth? It's amazing how far the jaw will stretch... and then stretch a little more. I thought my mouth was small until I tried one night to open it further and further for God to fill it. I was desperate.

Psalm 81:7 - "In distress you called, and I rescued you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder".

Now... I wonder where this secret place of thunder is. God knows. I'll trust him.

E.

God Remains

I always feel a little rush of excitement when I come to the prophet section in reading the bible. Odd, but true. The prophets carry the burden of foresight - seeing what would come to be if the people did not heed to the word of the Lord spoken through them. Among the lesser known prophets is Habakkuk with only 3 chapters that culminate in a prayer, closing with his pledge, "... yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will joy in the God of my salvation." He was able to devote himself to God even if all else was lost.

I echo the sentiment of the prophet in song. Yet I Will Rejoice... somehow.

You may have noticed the lovely image in my profile picture - a painting by my good friend and exceptional artist, Antonia McGuane. I am happy to have the painting as the focal point in my living space, as well as in my working space here on the song blog.

Antonia was recently working on a series titled "Ephemeral" - an interesting word that I hadn't really given thought to before. As she shared about her work, I began to think about the meaning and experience of this ephemeral life. Its fleeting nature. The moments that come and go and never pass our way again. I had come across a note in my journal from a few months earlier titled, "Only God Remains", together with the words, "new become old and new again, while God remains." It seemed to fit with the concept of ephemeral. Could this interesting word ever find its way into a song? Indeed, it could.

Ephemeral - something worth pondering while "dancing in time with my eternal one."

E.

God In Your Face

I was on the walking trail that circles around the town of Lunenburg, NS, following the path of the former railway track. I remember the old days of hearing the train whistle by as we sat in our classroom in the Lunenburg Academy on the hill above. The trail was quiet on this day... except for the voice in my head saying, "God is in your face". I took it to mean, "in your face", like the modern expression of someone getting your attention. The voice continued...saying, "talk to the hand". Another expression with a bit of attitude attached to it.

I've often said, to myself mostly... and now to you, that to believe in God I would only have to look as far as my hand. It has an awe inspiring design, with extraordinary capabilities. How could one doubt a creator in this? "Eye cannot see what the hand knows." - journal Jan. 14/12. I love that the evidence of the Creator God is so apparent in creation. So... in my face.

God "in your face" could be taken another way. When I look on your face, really look, I might just see God there. See his reflection. See the evidence that you are made in his image. So why not Rise Up And Show Your Face!

In a well known quote from Marianne Williamson she says, "We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God, that is within us."

In other words, Be Radiant.

Psalm 34:5 - "Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed."

E.

More Heart Words

Is there anything more sought after than that place or experience of peace called home? And is there anything more abundant and available to us than the ever sufficient gift called grace? The two co-exist in God. There they are found. From there they are received.

There... here in my heart.

One day I asked myself the question, "Will I sit in judgement over my own life?" I discovered that I was afraid of disappointment - disappointing others... and myself. Feeling disappointed. I was believing the lie that I would never be good enough. If that was the lie, then what was the truth? The truth is... I am capable of being me, perfectly, even when that includes making mistakes. Grace is what I needed to have toward myself. Grace to stop judging - to allow mercy, to permit imperfection, to remove the mask, to accept, to forgive, to love. I had my answer.

I had a clear thought earlier that day as I walked along my favourite beach, Hirtle's Beach, NS - "There is a sweet life in me". I wasn't feeling particularly sweet. As on other days, I was feeling the frustration of not really being at home in the world. Spending most of the last ten years unsettled and without a home of my own has added to that. The good news is, I have come to realize that as long as I am aware of God's presence, here beside me and involved in my life, I am content. There's a great sweetness in coming home to that reality... in accepting that reality.

From this place of home comes meekness, love, and all the things I've hoped for, longed for, searched for, and needed. This was the conclusion to my thoughts that day.

Home sweet home.

E.

On This Mountain

Who doesn't like the idea of a 'mountain top' experience? That moment of being on top of the world. I certainly do. I think I've spent a great deal of time circling the mountain without ever reaching the pinnacle. But, I remain hopeful!

I recently attended the funeral of my uncle Eli Skinner, a great name... and a great uncle. One of dad's eight siblings - a family size I thought large until I started meeting other Newfoundlanders. During the service, there was a reading from Isaiah 25, verses 6 to 10. I had never before considered this scripture in relation to the time of death. I suppose I've always hoped that one could be On This Mountain in this lifetime. And that the feast of rich foods and well-aged wines, and the wiping away of tears and disgrace could be experienced sometime in the present. That's what I've been waiting for.

Isaiah 25:7-8 - "And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever."

I can understand why these verses would be read on the day we say good-bye to our loved ones. Certainly for them, the wait has ended.

Mount Zion. His Holy Mountain. Can one begin to imagine the beauty and joy to be found there?

Psalm 48:12-13 - "Walk about Zion, go all around it..."

It's time to set my eyes upon the pinnacle. I echo the words of Prince Caspian of Narnia, in his realization, "I spent too much time wanting what was taken from me, rather than wanting what was given to me."

Mountain climbing ahead!

E.

Steadfast Love

Words from the Psalms featured in today's post were jotted down on facing pages of my journal back in February 2011. They found their way into songs later in the fall, one in September, the other in October. It's pure coincidence that they continue together on this page.

How songs come about is always fascinating. For me, I usually first discover a nice sounding chord pattern and from there let a melody develop. When the melody seems complete, I go in search for lyrics that are a good fit, leafing through my journals. The words may be found in an entry just days before, or a few years back. I'm always surprised by the match I find. I will play through the song dozens of times before I'm happy with the flow of it. Then the song will circle around in my head for days until it becomes annoying. That's my signal to start a new song!

I love the creative process and I hope that it will always fill a portion of my days. Each day requires a good dose of God's Steadfast Love In The Morning. I rely on his strength and participation more than I ever knew I would.

Psalm 59:17 - "O my strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love."

The other thing I rely on, more than I ever knew I would, is hearing from God. Looking to him on a regular basis to answer questions and lead me through the day. I don't like it when he seems to be silent. "Let Me Hear you", is always my petition.

Psalm 85:10 - "Steadfast love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will kiss each other." - The kissing part has always puzzled me. What could it mean?... Maybe it's the point where God's voice meets my listening ear. 

A nice thing to ponder and write about.

E.

God Shines Forth

I was in a mini-van full of ladies headed for a women's conference in Windsor, NS, driving along a scenic valley road. Out of the blue, the driver Bernadette exclaimed, "Majesty!". She was admiring the colour and beauty of the rolling hills and farm dotted landscape. It struck me as an unusual exclamation, especially since I had written a song of the same title just a month earlier. For me, this was God's stamp of approval. I decided to keep the song's original title, Majesty, even though there were established works with the same name. No other name matched the exclamation of God.

It's comforting to know the Lord is "more majestic than the thunder of mighty water". - Psalm 93:4. And he can be spotted at work even along a valley road.

Psalm 50:2 - "Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God Shines Forth."

Could there be a more perfect line of scripture? It says it all, does it not? What more could I add?

I would like to take a moment to add my welcome... to all those who are listening in various parts of the world. I was thrilled to discover I had listeners in Russia, Germany, Spain, Ireland, Pakistan, the US, as well as across Canada. It's been so nice to have you all tuning in.

When my collection of songs began to grow, I didn't know how I would go about publishing them and sharing them with others. So this blog has turned out to be perfect. I enjoy writing the background information as much as the songs themselves.

I would love to hear your comments - to hear your story... your voice!
Such a pleasure to meet with you here!

E.

Round And Round

Ecclesiastes 1:3 - "What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?"

As King Solomon said, "All is vanity." One could easily become discouraged in the circular nature of life. Repeating patterns. Repeating results. Attempts to change but remaining the same. What will make the difference? What will bring a breakthrough? These are two questions I've asked many times and for many years, as I've sought "my calling", moving from place to place and home to home. Round and Round, chasing the wind. In all the vanity Solomon speaks of, I can find one glimmer of hope...

Ecclesiastes 2:24 - "There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God."

It is the recognition of God's hand in our labour that makes the toil worthwhile. And, to enjoy the fruits of our labour is the reward!

One afternoon at the Chester Career Resource Centre, where I find computer access and from where I publish this blog, I met Klaus Gehrig, a local musician and instructor in Celestial Navigation. He noticed I was working on music and asked to see the lyric sheet for Round And Round laying beside me. Being the philosophical type, he appreciated the lyrics and so I offered to send him a recording. As often happens, I struggled to record the song without messing up. After many failed attempts I had a "meltdown" and found myself saying to God, "I gotta know that you're in this with me..." and before I knew it I was singing the words. When I settled down, I sat and wrote I Gotta Know - a product of my recording agony.

The amazing outcome was that Klaus eventually heard both songs and made home recordings of his own. I love these versions. Here's Klaus Gehrig with Round And Round and I Gotta Know.

Thanks Klaus for your unique navigation through these songs!

E.

Jean Margaret

Jean Margaret was my grandmother. It was her great-great-grandfather, a Selig of German descent, who built our family home. Seven generations later, my niece is now growing up there. My three sisters and I grew up with our grandmother as a second mother. She was a blessing to the whole family. Late at night I could sometimes hear her in her room reading from the bible or quietly praying. Her bible was always next to her pillow. I credit Nanny's prayers with keeping me under God's umbrella and drawing me back to him when I began to stray. She was a fine example of someone with faith.

In her later years, my grandmother was confined to a wheelchair, having lost her legs to disease. I am most proud of the years I was able to wheel Nanny to church on Sundays. Throughout her life she was a Sunday school teacher and active in the church. It was her second home. I was honoured to have a seat in the pew next to her. She had an appreciation for my every little gesture of assistance. I wish I had done more. She passed away in 1995.

Jean Margaret married Michael Joseph O'Connor, who had come from Newfoundland to fish out of Lunenburg. They had 4 children. The second, a daughter, was Josephine Mary, born April 25, 1940. My mom. Today is her birthday. Besides birthing me into a childhood full of musical influence, I credit my mother with passing along an innate creativity, an openness to new things, and the ability to persevere. I also give her credit for holding onto things of value. She had the foresight to copy all my earlier songs on the day she came across them. Because of that, I now have the song Jean Margaret, written in 1997, to present to her as a birthday gift. I had forgotten even writing it.

I also present, A Sweet Tune - the happy birthday version. Happy Birthday, Mom!

E.

The Unfolding Word

There really is something to reading the bible daily. Early in my Christian walk, I complained one Sunday to my minister that I was hungry, spiritually under-nourished. He seemed to understand. He suggested I start a daily bible reading habit. I could follow along with the church calendar and do the suggested readings in the Book of Common Prayer. The prayer book also has The Psalter, a layout of morning and evening Psalms for each day of the month.

Doubtful that it would be a cure for my hunger, I went ahead anyway and started to read. Before long, I began to notice that readings during the week were addressing particular issues I was wrestling with. I could be pondering something through the week, and find the answer in one of the days readings, or hear an answer in the Sunday sermon based on the readings for that day. It was an ongoing occurrence.

Psalm 19:9-10 - "The ordinances of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much Fine Gold; sweeter also than honey, and drippings of the honeycomb."

For several years I followed that reading pattern and found the nourishment I needed. The Psalms, in particular, became my comfort food. In them I found the cry of my heart and the hope for better things to come.  And I found the praise that I often struggled to produce on my own. As it turned out, all those expressions of heart and hope and praise have made their way into almost half of the songs I have written to date. Two of them are in today's post.

Psalm 119:130 - The Unfolding Of Your Word gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple."

I love the idea of God's word unfolding, bit by bit, revealing more and more of the mystery and truth within it. Food for the soul. Sweet.

E.

Redeemer and Sovereign

In the prayer group at Lighthouse Community Church, we would sometimes sit in silence and listen to hear what God might be saying. In one of those times of quiet, I heard the message that would become the song Sevenfold. Of course, to claim it's God speaking is a step of faith, but I simply wrote the thoughts as they came. Afterward, when we all shared the impressions, thoughts or experiences we had during the period of silence (God speaks in many ways), I read what I had written. Ready to accept that it was nothing, I looked up from reading to discover Pastor Jocelyn with tears in her eyes. It had been a message that she had received in an earlier time and setting. This was confirmation of God's personal message for her. I think it's a message for all of us.

"I return to you sevenfold. I return to you sevenfold. For all your loss, for all your pain, I will redeem you sevenfold..." - journal, May 31/11

I never tire of reading the Psalms. King David's expressions are from the heart and cover all facets of emotion. I especially like the expression of wonder and majesty in Psalm 8. "O Lord, our Sovereign, How Majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens." I always hear this song with a full choir of children joining in on the refrain...  "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars..."

It's a child-like wonder. I would love to have that again.

E.

 

Precious Child

The issue of personal identity is a universal one. Who are we? Where do we come from? What is our purpose? Questions the world cannot answer... our work cannot answer... our circumstances cannot answer. The answer is bigger than all these things. Our identity is beyond who and what we are in the world. Our identity is in God. That's where we find ourselves.

Psalm 139:14 - "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well."

It occurred to me one day that I was first imagined in the mind of God. He liked the idea of me, and so I was made. His Precious Child. A product of his delight. That's a nice thought. A nice reality. And there really is no expectation that comes with that. If I am myself, then the gifts that are in me will naturally evolve, and I will just be... me. Simple, huh?

The world has other ideas for me. I should be this, or I should do that. Even as a Christian it's easy to fall under the 'should' curse, which at best leads to pretense and the carrying of burdens that are not mine to bear. It has taken much time and contemplation to reach this understanding, and I imagine that the fullness of it's truth is far beyond my reach.

Psalm 139:6 - Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

I'm satisfied to know a little and to be out from under the pressure, out from under the weight of expectations. In God's eye, I am perfect. I am this particular version of the Elizabeth Anne design. I Am God's Own.

E.

Returning To Eden

Blessed Are Those who bless you Israel... - Numbers 24:9

If there's a blessing to be had, I want it. I will join with the prophet Balaam in blessing Israel... and reap the benefit of a blessing for myself. Myself aside, it needs to be said that Israel is God's chosen people. Chosen for a purpose - to be a "light". I want that light shining, don't you? So let's bless them!

I didn't have any those worthy thoughts in mind when writing the words of Balaam's oracle in my journal. I simply liked the poetry and imagery of the palm groves stretching far and wide, the gardens beside the river, the aloes planted by the Lord and the cedars by the waters.

Number 24:5 - "How fair are your tents, O Jacob".

I asked the question in bible study one evening at St. Thomas' Church, NL, "Is The Promise something that we have to wait for until the day we die, or is it something we can receive before then?" I guess what I was really asking was, can I hope to experience the life of Eden in this time on earth? - To look around me and see lives fully restored, fully healed, and at one with God. Freedom from disease and corruption. Evil banished. In whole communities. In my community. In me. The song Returning To Eden came from a time of pondering this ongoing inquiry.

I don't remember if the question was answered that evening. I suppose one can always hope to have at least a taste of Eden... "while it is still called today". - Hebrews 3:13

E.

My Soul Thirsts

Soon after moving back to Nova Scotia, I visited my friends at Lighthouse Community Church. Whenever I was in the province, I would often go there on Sundays and through the week to the prayer group and bible study. That week they were planning a "soaking in the presence of God" evening, with worship music on CD. The thought crossed my mind to offer to sing and play some of my songs. I left that thought right where it was... until I was certain it was a divine prompting. So... I offered... and Pastor Jocelyn accepted.

And there I was, Wednesday evening with guitar in hand, wondering how was I ever going to do this. This was my third time playing in front of more than an audience of one or my cat. And it would involve playing more than one or two songs. I trembled my way through the first few songs and then gradually became more calm. Fortunately, they're a generous and forgiving bunch at LCC. I was glad in the end to have followed the prompting.

The response amazed me and I was richly rewarded with positive feedback. Debra, one of worship team at the church, had several encouraging words and in particular, one prophetic word. She believed I would soon be writing a song with more than one voice. Who Rises Up For Me is that song. There are three "voices" that can be heard - two that are me: doubt and hope; and one that is God: assurance. Can you tell who's who in the lyrics?

There is only one voice in My Soul Thirst, and it's all me. If there were one song that could sum up my daily walk (and talk) with God, this would be it. My prayer is that the rich feasting and joyful praise would increase, and the dry and weary land would decrease.

I always imagine myself as a little song bird on her perch singing this song. If it's a cage I'm in, I'm sure the door would be open. At least I'm protected from the cat!

E.

For The Lord Is Coming

I occasionally get the sense that one of my songs is prophetic in nature - a message for the times we are in. There is no surprise in this, as many of the lyrics I write come straight from the inspired word of God - the bible. For The Lord Is Coming is one of those songs. It's a message that one can hear in the airwaves these days. It's straight forward. Short and to the point.

Psalm 96 - "Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord; for he is coming, for he is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with his truth."

If there were ever any doubt, and you needed a reference letter for God, Psalm 146 would be it. Beginning at the 6th verse, all the key attributes are listed: creator, source of faith and justice, provider... liberator, healer, guardian, upholder... God loves. The key word for me in writing this next song was "happy". Not one of the attributes listed, but the hoped for result in me. 

Psalm 146:5 - "Happy Are Those... whose hope is in the Lord their God".

I was in the pursuit of happiness. You may have seen the movie of the same name, featuring Will Smith. The unbelievable true story of homelessness, divine encounters, heartache, perseverance, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, which ends in the most joyous moment of success. Was it worth it? Is it worth it?

For my own pursuit, I'm happy to say, "yes"!

E.

Be Bold

It was one of my final days in the little cottage on Neary's Pond, NL, just puttering about in the kitchen. I heard myself singing a chorus, I Will Call Upon Your Holy Name. I had to stop and wonder what I was singing. I was surprised to discover it was something new. Words and melody. A rare occurrence. For a time it remained a chorus and I liked it that way. However, in searching the scripture to see where the words may have originated, I found in Psalm 116 what would become the body of the song. The little chorus then became an intro and finale. I think it could easily stand alone as a meditative chorus for those who want to try it.

"I will call upon your holy name. I will call upon your holy name.
In your presence now, I will pay my vow, and offer sacrifice of praise."

The day eventually came when I made my final departure from Newfoundland, after 10 years of going back and forth between various homes there and my family home in Lunenburg, Nova Scotia. I headed for a little village along the LaHave River, NS and to a potential new job with the local winery - Petite Riviere Vineyards. I was graciously offered a place to start from, in the cottage of one of the owners, sharing the space with the vineyard foreman. After a couple of weeks it became apparent that finding more permanent accommodation was going to be next to impossible, and it was still not clear what my job would be with the winery. I began to lose confidence in the move. That's when this little but mighty song came along to keep me going forward. Be Bold... and be strong.

Deuteronomy 31:8 - "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

I did not end up settling in Petite. I found myself back in the family home and back into a time of songwriting.

Back into a time of transition.

E.

O God, It's True

During the first and unforgettable Alpha retreat weekend, I had the experience of making my first ever confession. It came as a complete surprise, as I was lead in prayer by Peter, one of the course leaders. I had grown up Anglican and the act of personal confession was not something I was familiar with. And, to be perfectly honest, I didn't know I had anything in particular to repent of. Surprise! On God's agenda that day was, bringing into His light, my dabbling in the occult - visits to clairvoyants, tarot card readings, horoscope readings, and the like. I had been seeking - trying to find myself - in darkness, rather than in the light of God. It was time to turn from those practices. I must say, since that first confession, I've experienced a complete revulsion to any of those things. I can see now that they are deceptive at best.

After the prayer, I went for a walk through the woods by the retreat centre. I discovered a spot where a beam of sun was making its way through the trees. I sat in that spot of light and thought about what had just taken place, feeling bewildered. I found myself in a state of remorse saying, "O God. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know."

As we celebrated communion later in the day, my mind was flooded with other sins in my life. I pictured myself going before the group and presenting the list. Coming clean. Fortunately, my friend Anne sitting next to me, sensing my struggle, suggested I bring those things privately to God for the moment. Somewhat relieved, I was able to go forward to accept the Lord's Supper - his body and blood, given for me! O God, It's True.

Here's a gentle lullaby to bring today's post to a close. God's promise, found at the end of the popular Psalm 91, known for its ability - the power of the spoken Word - to shield us from evil. I love the part about the "angels set round about us to keep us in all our ways." I depend on God's heavenly host, daily. Those Who Love Me, "I will deliver".

God's will be done.

E.

Unto The Lord

For months, as my head hit the pillow each night, I would have the thought "I love you, Lord", words I had read many times at the beginning of Psalm 18. It was during a period of time when I wasn't feeling any particular kind of love at all. And yet, the thought persisted. "I love you, Lord." I continued to wait for the feeling to match the words. The psalm goes on with words I could easily relate to, "my strength, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my God, my shield" - sentiments I truly felt. O Lord, You Are My Rock conveys them all. Perhaps the day will come when I can sing with conviction "I love you, Lord". That may seem odd coming from someone with a growing collection of worship songs. What I feel seems like a faint whisper to whatever it is I'm waiting for. Compared to God's love for us, I suppose our love for him would seem like a faint whisper.

There was a chorus I began hearing, "I will sing, sing a new song. I will sing, sing a new song." It seemed like a good start to a new song... until I discovered U2 had a song with the same words! Yet, the chorus kept coming to me, along with a great big gospel voice singing overtop, "He is Marvelous..." It was the voice of Jimmy Lee Howard - an accomplished drummer, songwriter, and "big gospel voice". He ministers through his music wherever opportunity brings him. I knew him from my time at MUSICNL in St. John's, NL.

Jimmy Lee likely has no shortage of material to sing, but it would be cool to hear him do his thing with Unto The Lord, the song that eventually evolved from its U2 beginning. What do you say Jimmy Lee? And no, I don't want to sing back-up in your choir. He's always recruiting. Here's a YouTube taste of Jimmy Lee Howard... and those are my friends Margaret and Donna Squires in red, singing back-up! There's also a nice glimpse of some of the other great musicians I once knew in St. John's.

Feeling a little homesick now.

E.

The Spirit Knows

The Holy Spirit is the most interesting person you could ever come to meet. I'm quite sure He's eager to introduce Himself, even to those who don't know to invite Him in, like myself. He came unexpectically one night, while I slept, and presented Himself. I had heard the expression 'Baptism of the Holy Spirit' once in passing and hadn't given it another thought... until I found myself experiencing it that night. Some have described the feeling as being filled with pure love. I would add, perfect peace and weightlessness. In a journal entry, early that morning, I called it "the gift, the joy, the bliss, the infinite, that is God." A good description.

And there began my longing for all things of the Spirit, and the loss of desire for all things of the world. September 14th, 2001, two days before my birthday. A nice gift... with no return policy. The Spirit Knows.

For a month I enjoyed the "honeymoon" stage of our new relationship and then the unthinkable happened - depression. I found myself on a path of darkness that was to last several years. Coming to the end of it required asking for help again and again. Very humbling. I did not like the loss of independence. The good news is, I grew in my dependence on God and into a greater security. Happy to say, I now look back on that dark tunnel and remain Safe In The Arms Of The Almighty. "There is no other I desire."

I send this song out to my dear friend, Donna, who has been my number one fan and the best audience of one that a budding songwriter could ever hope to have. She was and is a fan of this song and sang it herself at the Ministry to Missionaries on the beautiful west coast of Newfoundland, while volunteering there. Thanks D!

E.

Heart Words

I was watching a film with Leonardo DiCaprio - Body of Lies, I believe. His character was an undercover agent working in a war torn country, unable to trust another living soul. In the midst of crisis, the unexpected happened. He found love. Even though based on a fictional story, it struck me that there remains in each of us, that 'spot' susceptible and open to true love when we encounter it... even in implausible circumstances. At the end of the movie, I sat down and wrote the words that became Love.

A second 'heart word', Peace, found its way into a song and became one of my favourite to play. Mainly because it takes one finger, moving one fret, on only two strings. That's as good as it gets for a beginner on guitar. The lyrics are dear to me as well. They stem from an image I've had over and over, mainly when I'm feeling weary, of myself leaning against Jesus' breast. Just there. Saying nothing. Doing nothing. At peace.

John 14:23 - "Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved."

It's a nice image. Intimate. Comforting.

Nothing more to say.

E.

Houses of God

Elizabeth: house of God; consecrated to God.

It was my minister, Peter Young, at St. Thomas' Church in St. John's, NL, who first told me the meaning of my name. And he proceeded to remind me of it as often as needed. There was an assurance in it.

Psalm 127:1 - "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain."

I was journaling one day about how God might go about building a house - this house. Me. I believe we were in the "excavation" stage at that point - digging and clearing the land, removing the large stones - preparing for a solid foundation. The building would come later. It would be a process building this house!

The good news is, there is now a sound coming from this House Of God. I send this sound out to Peter, with thanks for his part in the building process - the counsel, the inpouring of wisdom, and all those assurances.

"Oh, to see the sun rise on this house. What a day that will be." - journal, July 24/10

In the psalms there's a call that goes out to the houses of God. Psalm 135:19-20 - "O house of Israel, bless the Lord! O house of Aaron, bless the Lord! O house of Levi, bless the Lord! You that fear the Lord, bless the Lord!"

For some time, the melody for Bless The Lord went without words and I thought perhaps it would remain the "doo, doo" song. I'm glad I finally heeded the call of Psalm 135 and discovered words that were just right. Only a few doo, doos remain. 

E.

To The One

"My God and my King, who am I to know this place of glory before your throne." - journal, July 14/10

The lyrics for To The One come from a scene in the book of Revelation where the four and twenty elders fall down before the throne of God and worship him. It is part of the apostle John's first visions of heaven.

Revelation 4:11 - “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”

If it's not God we worship, then who... or what...? What Would You Trade God For? The issue of idols can be a sensitive one, especially if there are things in our lives that we aren't aware we put before God. The lyrics came almost word for word from a journal entry I had made while thinking about the potential idols in my own life - those thing that I could easily focus on, leading me astray from God. For instance, don't we all like to be told, "Your right", particularly when it comes to our beliefs! What if our mind sets, the things we believe we're right about, are wrong.

Proverbs 14:12 - "There is a way that seems right to a person, but its end is the way to death."

It didn't occur to me until recently, that this song might cause offence. So I send my apologies out with it. I always thought of it as light hearted, bluesy and fun. Can the subject of idolatry be any of these things?

E.