Is there anything more sought after than that place or experience of peace called home? And is there anything more abundant and available to us than the ever sufficient gift called grace? The two co-exist in God. There they are found. From there they are received.
There... here in my heart.
One day I asked myself the question, "Will I sit in judgement over my own life?" I discovered that I was afraid of disappointment - disappointing others... and myself. Feeling disappointed. I was believing the lie that I would never be good enough. If that was the lie, then what was the truth? The truth is... I am capable of being me, perfectly, even when that includes making mistakes. Grace is what I needed to have toward myself. Grace to stop judging - to allow mercy, to permit imperfection, to remove the mask, to accept, to forgive, to love. I had my answer.
I had a clear thought earlier that day as I walked along my favourite beach, Hirtle's Beach, NS - "There is a sweet life in me". I wasn't feeling particularly sweet. As on other days, I was feeling the frustration of not really being at home in the world. Spending most of the last ten years unsettled and without a home of my own has added to that. The good news is, I have come to realize that as long as I am aware of God's presence, here beside me and involved in my life, I am content. There's a great sweetness in coming home to that reality... in accepting that reality.
From this place of home comes meekness, love, and all the things I've hoped for, longed for, searched for, and needed. This was the conclusion to my thoughts that day.
Home sweet home.
E.
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